This is the fifth Mother’s Day without my mom. I’d like to say that it gets easier, and maybe it does, but it makes for a melancholy day. It’s around this time of year when you see stories and videos of lessons from what we learned from other mothers. I gave the eulogy at Mom’s funeral back in 2019 with the lessons that I learned from mom, while not quite the typical ‘Mom lessons’, they were the lessons I learned from her.

Eulogy for Robbie Ann Creed Maxwell given May 30, 2019

As I driving here from Florida,  I had a long time to think back on Mom and things that she has taught me. Some are probably obvious, and some not so much, but I thought that I’d like to share them with y’all today. Now these aren’t your typical Lessons from Mom, but they were lessons from my mom, and while she may not have said these things outright these are a few things that I have learned from her. 

1. It’s ok, to not make your roux from scratch, and recipes are just suggestions.  I can’t tell you how many times I called mom and asked her for a recipe and she say, “well, there really isn’t one, I just made it up. Well, maybe there’s a little of this, and add some of that.” Ok, not much help mom, and after I decided to make my first gumbo ever, I called and asked her about the roux and how to make it. She said, oh, just get a box or jar of roux. Who has time to stand in front of the stove?” I was shocked, but I have never made a gumbo roux from scratch–She was right. 

2. It’s never too late to try something new, and maybe invent an alternate personality.  Mom was over 50 when she and dad started the Village Voice and then went to work as editor at The Chronicle.  It was only then that I realized that Mom had a gift of writing, especially humor.  When the Marva Stewart letters showed up, I knew that she had a talent for writing. I laughed all the time about Marva’s antics, and I laughed even harder when Mom told me that some people didn’t know that she was actually Marva. So if you didn’t know, *Spoiler Alert* Mom WAS Marva. All this shows me that age is just a number and it’s never too late to change directions.  

3. Use your talents. Mom was so talented, and could decorate, cook, draw, write, and play the piano. I can’t count the number of times that Mom helped out by decorating or cooking for a wedding, a baby shower, or a birthday.   Unfortunately, I did not get that special touch that she had and I was always on the phone with her trying to figure out how to make something look the way “Robbie Ann” would make it look.  She had that touch that made something look a little extra special. She believed that anything could be fixed with a glue gun, a hammer, some duct tape, and a little ingenuity.

4. A bad hair day, month or year could be solved by a wig, or two. Mom loved her wig and wiglets. In fact, after I told my friend Chip that she had passed, he went to her Facebook page and even though they weren’t friends,he could see her profile photos, he said this: 

I cracked up as I scrolled through her page and every photo, photo after photo after photo was a new hairstyle.  I just thought, a southern Steel Magnolia she surely was. “ when I informed him they were wigs he said Well, I wondered how it went from long to short to almost pixie and back to long again! The thing is, I never could figure out whether it was a wig or her real hair sometimes! 

       5) Never leave the house without makeup and always wear lipstick because you never know who you might run into. She’s absolutely right. Every time I leave the house without makeup, I run into a student or a parent, and whenever I fail to wear lipstick to work, at least one of my students will ask, “Mrs. Clark, are you feeling okay? ” And I swear, I can always hear my mom laughing at me. 

And finally, number 6 and maybe the most important: 

6) Life is always better with a little sparkle.  Mom loved anything that sparked, twinkled, glittered or flashed.  She was always impeccably dressed, down to her jewelry. She didn’t believe in the ‘take one piece of jewelry off “ rule before you left the house. Chances are, she added one! But that was Mama, and it all worked. I would look ridiculous, but Mom had a sense of style that was just her.  I’m sure everyone has heard the saying “She leaves a little glitter wherever she goes. “ Well, that was true of mom, and I know that she has left a trail of glitter for us to find her later, we’ll just have to look for it when the time comes. 

I love you, Mom. I hope you’re having coffee with Aunt Eva and Deva, Uncle Mike, Uncle Chris, and Grandma and Grandpa Creed, and remembering every now and again to throw a little glitter in my way.  

PS, May 2025, I randomly find glitter and sequins every now and again. 🙂